Charisma,
intelligence, drive and conscientiousness are some of the characteristics that
make a leader. But what is it that can break a leader? Is it merely the lack of
such qualities? No, says organisational behaviour expert Frank Flynn. His research
has found that the greatest identifiable trait that can hold someone back from
becoming a great leader is being too assertive or not assertive enough. Flynn's
paper, to be published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
emerges from a striking phenomenon he observed while teaching an organisational
behaviour course at the Columbia Business School. What Flynn and Ames discovered
was that when people were determined to be extremely assertive, the social costs
of their behaviour - others hurt feelings and damaged relationships - were seen
to override the positive aspects of their ability to get the job done. Conversely,
when they were deemed too passive, their inability to move projects along and
achieve goals was what stuck in people's minds, not their ability to preserve
social harmony. "People pay more attention to what is bad about assertive
or non-assertive behaviour than what's good about it," Flynn explains. The
researchers therefore stress that a critical management skill is knowing how to
get your way and get along. "We're not suggesting that people should
always be moderately assertive as a general guideline", Flynn elaborates.
"A better way to think about it might be that a good leader knows how to
pick their spots - when to come on strong and when to hang back." Flynn
also notes that women are at more of a disadvantage than men when it comes to
being judged negatively on either end of the assertiveness scale. "When women
are very assertive they violate gender stereotypes, and they are punished for
it. Yet when they fulfill the stereotype of the meek women they also suffer,"
he says. "When it comes to assertiveness, women seem to have a more restricted
range in which to operate." A big part of effective assertiveness management,
he says, is being aware of how your behaviour affects others. As is it turns out,
this is easier for the meek than the mights. "Very unassertive people generally
realise they're too passive and area getting stepped on," Flynn says, "but
aggressive people tend to have no clue as to how they're perceived. Getting honest
or anonymous feedback form others can help with this." For women, he says,
copycatting can be effective. Our research has shown that women who calibrate
themselves to act more assertively when they're around assertive men, and less
assertive when they're around more mild-mannered men, are rated more favorably
in organisational settings," he says. | 
